Rachel Bruno

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What Happened – Part IV

July 16, 2018 by Rachel Bruno 2 Comments

In 72 hours, I found myself on the brink of losing everything I loved. Yet, I had this indescribable focus, strength, and Peace. Which is not to say I wasn’t hurting, I was, but I was able to push the pain aside and bring the “doer” in me to the forefront. I believe this is what is referred to as the “Fight or Flight” response in psychobabble. There are a number of physiological and psychological changes that occur in your body when it senses a threat, either physical or emotional. The ever trusty Wikipedia explains it like this: “the initial response (physiological) and subsequent reactions are triggered in an effort to create a boost of energy.” Essentially, the response prepares the body to either fight or flee the threat. All of these are adaptive bodily responses which are designed to keep us alive, and because these responses are important to our survival, they occur quickly and without thought. They are automatic.

July 11th, 2015. First Time holding Lucas after his surgery

I was definitely in survival mode. And while I love the biological sciences, I know there was a Greater Force in me throughout this entire process.

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

-Isaiah 40:28-31

There you have it. Just like in our physical bodies, my spiritual “fight or flight” was also triggered automatically when I put my hope and trust in God. There was absolutely nothing I could do, but trust in God, or I would have literally lost my mind. But God is faithful, and if you “draw near to him, he will draw near to you.” Don’t ever forget that.

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Filed Under: ASFA, Child Protective Services, Family Court, Foster Care, Legal, Social Services, The Story Tagged With: ASFA, Faith, Gratitude, He is Mine, Hope

Happy Anniversary! Let’s talk to our lawyers!

July 13, 2018 by Rachel Bruno 2 Comments

Yesterday, July 12thwas our anniversary <3 I can’t believe it has been 15 years since I said, “I do.” Time flies! As we were leaving for dinner to one of our favorite gastronomical splurges, David looked at me as asked, “Why did you get so pretty?” I couldn’t help but laugh. This stage he is in is so adorable! The things he says are priceless. I went on to explain that his daddy and I were celebrating being married for 15 years! He looked confused. “Why are you getting married again?” He replied. I laughed, and explained it’s sort of like a birthday. We’re not getting married again, just celebrating every year that comes. “Will I get married?” He inquired. “I sure hope so! I pray you will find a wonderful girl, who will love you, and more importantly, love God,” I smiled. He furrowed his eyebrows and said, “I don’t want to get married! I want to marry you mommy! Why can’t I marry you?” And of course my heart just ((((((melted)))))) I gave him a big hug, while thinking to myself, “I’ll take it while I can! One day I’ll be walking you down the aisle!”

15th Anniversary! July 12, 2018

At dinner, Ricardo and I reminisced about years past. One particular thing not-so-romantic, but that will forever mark our anniversary, was the fact that three years ago we were on the phone with lawyers, and this year we were on the phone with lawyers, yet again. Except this time, we’re in a much better place—on the “other side” of the fight, if you will. We thanked God for his mercy and grace upon our family, and our marriage, which could have easily been destroyed. In the post where I talked about the initial meeting with my lawyer, he explicitly explained to me “your husband cannot defend you.” We were both perplexed as to why he would say such a thing. Then he went on, “They will say you care more about your wife, and are not prioritizing ‘the best interest’ of your child.” We were still confused. What could be more ‘in the best interest of a child’, if not a mother and father who loved and defended each other, in order to keep the family together? I posed these questions to my lawyer at the time, and if you haven’t figured this out yet, my lawyer did not parse words. He flinched, and proceeded to roar, “THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE THE KIDS AWAY FROM BOTH OF YOU! I’ve seen couples get divorced just so they could get their kids back. They don’t care about you! All they care about is getting those kids out!” I was once again caught completely off guard. I kept thinking, “Shouldn’t they care about the TRUTH?” I didn’t want to get yelled at again, so I kept my mouth shut, and this bible verse popped into my head:

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. -Proverbs 12:15

Now, years later, I’ve had time to do my homework, and look into what my lawyer was saying at the time. Much to my horror, he was right. Legally speaking, what does it mean to be “in the child’s best interest”? Late in the twentieth century, The United States Supreme Court first provided due process protection to minors in In re Gault, 387 U.S. 1 (1967). The law recognized (minor) children as people, who are entitled to constitutional rights. In turn, children were entitled to the protection of the state and to services designed to help them when parental care, control, and assistance were not available or were beyond parental capacity. Let’s pause right here. One of President Ronald Reagan’s famous quotes comes front and center to my mind:

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.

You have probably never given that quote much thought, neither did I, until the day the government came to meddle in my life. Before the twentieth century, children were considered “assets” to which the parents have absolute right to possession. As a result, children were often used as cheap labor in sweatshops or farms, made to work hours a day for pennies. Ultimately, enactment of child protective services stemmed from an opinion that in many communities and families, what was considered reasonable discipline was, in fact, child abuse. Up to this point, I can understand why some judicial action was required on behalf of the children. But as we’ve seen repeatedly in history, when the government gets involved to “help” it can be a very slippery slope. Starting with the term “the best interest of the child.” It is a rather nebulous and ill-defined standard that opens a plethora of interpretations. There is still no concrete definitive standard to which a judge can look at, and the definition often varies from case to case. No wonder families thrust into this system are so confused! If you don’t have the resources, like we did, of an experienced attorney your family is already on the losing side of the battle….

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Filed Under: ASFA, Child Protective Services, CPS, Legal Tagged With: 14th Amendment, Adoptions and Safe Families Act, ASFA, Constitution, Mandated Reporter, Marriage, Neglect, Right to remain silent

Let’s talk about Child Separation

July 11, 2018 by Rachel Bruno Leave a Comment

David, 22-months old

I want to go back to David. In today’s current political environment, we are hearing A LOT about child separation and what is happening to families at the border. Honestly, hearing all the outrage is what triggered me to go full steam ahead with this blog. I posted the following on my Facebook page on June 18th, 2018:

I have tried to keep quiet. But I can’t anymore. I have to speak out. All the selective outrage, and hypocrisy by politicians and media pundits are driving me crazy. Let’s get one thing straight—separating children from their parents is wrong. PERIOD.

What if I told you that what is happening to immigrant children happens to American children EVERYDAY but no one is seeing it? CPS is removing our children illegally on a daily basis then producing fraudulent documents to cover up the crimes committed. Citizens are misled into believing CPS has legal grounds to remove children from “abusive” homes. The truth is they don’t!!!! I witnessed that first hand on July 8, 2015, the day both my innocent son’s were illegally removed from my care. I was forced to move out of my home. You may be thinking my case was just an unfortunate “misunderstanding” or an exception to the rule… I will tell you this: my story IS the exception in the sense that I got my children BACK. Most parents have to spend the rest of their lives, money, and time trying to get their children back when there was never any proof to begin with.

Where’s the outrage for OUR children?

According to the Children’s Bureau (a department of US Health & Human Services) over 400,000 children are currently in Foster Care. From those, 45% were in non-relative foster homes. From all these cases of “abuse” 88% were dismissed or never charged, yet the children were never reunified with their biological families (while the foster family receives roughly $700/month per child). Rant over.

“There is no system ever devised by mankind that is guaranteed
to rip husband and wife or father, mother and child apart so bitterly
than our present Family Court System.”

Judge Brian Lindsay
Retired Supreme Court Judge
New York

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Filed Under: CPS, Family Court, Foster Care, Legal, Social Services Tagged With: Adoptions and Safe Families Act, ASFA, child separation

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