Now to him who is able to do more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us .

-Ephesians 3:20

Today I took Lucas for a follow-up appointment with his neurosurgeon, and he is pleased with his progress. If you were to look at an image of Lucas’ head today (CT scan), you would see that there is a golf-sized sac full of fluid in the lower half of his “left brain”. Basically, brain tissue atrophies when it comes in contact with blood, so that part of the brain doesn’t work. The neurosurgeon told us that if he was just looking at the CT scan, he would be very worried. But seeing Lucas in person, and the flamboyant, talkative, energetic kid he is, he has no worries. I am very grateful to these doctors! Yes, it was a TEAM of doctors that gathered in the emergency room on that fateful day . Not coincidentally, the only two pediatric neurosurgeons in the two nearby counties where I live were in that hospital that day. It was all part of God’s plan. even through  of law enforcement questioned me about why I brought my son to a hospital in “Y” county, when I lived in “X” county, and finally used it against me in my court hearing (more on that below).

As I reflect on that day and look at my son today, I feel so grateful that God is still working miracles. My son is a true miracle. He didn’t just survive those 48 hours, he thrived. To God be the glory.

The post Break: Meet Lucas! appeared first on Rachel Bruno.

Like cold water to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country. -Proverbs 25:25

Those three simple words: I believe you, was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. It made me feel sane again. I felt like I was going crazy. Was I the only one who saw the absurdity of all this?  I smiled at him, thinking, okay he knows this is crazy. “So when can I go pick up my son, David?” I giggled. Then in the same breath, he turned looking me straight in the eye: “YOU DON’T GET THE SERIOUSNESS OF THIS! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? YOU ARE FACING 15 YEARS IN JAIL!!! What happened to your son Lucas is CRIMINAL. You need to call ‘Bob’ (PI), call ‘X Counseling Center’ and enroll in their child abuse, and parenting classes, and get ready for court.” 

I felt like I had just gotten ran over by a freight train. I couldn’t process what I was hearing. All I kept thinking to myself was: “BUT I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! WHAT ABOUT THE NANNY?!” He called Family Court right there in front of me, and confirmed our court hearing would be on Monday, July 13th. My husband would have to get his own lawyer due to of conflict of interest. He continued, “They’re not going to give your children back to you. You are undergoing a criminal investigation now. Your husband cannot defend you, or they will say he does not have your children’s best interest at heart. Unless we find someone to take them in, David and Lucas will be going to Foster Care, and if the case lasts longer than 6 months, which they will make sure it does, your children can be legally adopted by their Foster family.” Again in shock… WHAT ABOUT THE NANNY?! LEGALLY ADOPTED?! He continued, “I don’t want you talking to ANYBODY! You understand?! NOBODY!!! Call the nanny and tell her her services are no longer needed, NOT A WORD MORE. I want you to get as many Character Letters as you can so we can take them to court on Monday. Do WHATEVER the Social Workers tell you to do, don’t argue, and DO NOT talk to them anymore about this case.” And just like that, he sent me on my merry way. I was beginning to realize there was something much more sinister going on.

When I got back to the hospital, I finally had some answers regarding David. My mom was able to get in touch with another social worker, who told her exactly where David was but that we did not have permission to see him. On Friday, July 10th, the SSA (Social Services Agency) gave Ricardo and I permission to go visit David on site (at the county’s children’s shelter), for 30 minutes. That turned out to be the most heartbreaking 30 minutes of my life. I will never forget that pain…Ever. David was like a zombie. Looking at me with complete distrust, betrayal, and abandonment. He wouldn’t come near me. No smile. No hug. Just a blank stare. I knelt down on the floor, and after about 10 minutes trying to get him to play with me, he began opening up. I was finally regaining his trust, when the social worker interrupts our play and tells us our 30 minutes were up. Ricardo and I left to the sound of David, our baby then 20 months old, screaming his heart out, and grasping at our legs begging us not to leave him, yet we had no choice but to turn our backs and walk away.

Ricardo and I cried like two school children, holding on to each other as we walked to the car. The sound of David screaming in the background will forever be etched in my soul. It was heart wrenching. I never felt so helpless. Why God, why?

The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope. – Psalm 34:18

We cried all the way back to the hospital, where again, Lucas still lay in a medically induced coma. He was now having seizures due to brain irritation after the surgery. They had him hooked up to an EEG 24/7 monitoring his seizure activity, and trying to find the right combination of drugs to treat him. Everyone was so overwhelmed by the entire situation. First Lucas, now David, and then the threat I might lose my children. It was surreal. But through all the pain, my family and friends were in constant prayer with me. I was able to get around 20 character letters in 2 days. Some from people I had not spoken to in over 20 years. But that’s what happens when you have a family in Christ. We share the same spirit, the same love, the same Light. As painful as this was, I never felt so incredibly loved. The Bible tells us in Psalm 17:17, A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. I am an only child, but on this day, I felt like I had an army of brothers and sisters standing with me. It gave me strength to go on, it gave me hope, and I will be forever grateful to God for putting them in my life.

The post What Happened – Part III appeared first on Rachel Bruno.

“What do you mean they took David?! Where? Who? What?” I came to find out that the previous night, while I was being questioned by the detectives, the social worker along with law enforcement went to my mom’s house at 2AM. They knocked on my mom’s door saying they wanted to check on David. I had already informed my mom the night before of this request, and said it was fine. As I was on my way to sleep, the officers were telling my mom they were going to take him (David, then 20-months old). My mom was in shock, and wouldn’t comply, saying this is not what they said they were going to do. To further intimidate my mom, the officer tells her if she doesn’t hand David over, she is going to be arrested for failing to comply. “I’m calling backup.” My mom’s first response was, “If I go to jail, can I take him (David) with me?” The social worker chimed in and tells her, “No, he would go to Foster Care. And if you get arrested, you will not be eligible to care for him.”

My mom had no choice but to do what they said. My mom remembers awaking him, to where he smiled at her and jumped straight up full of energy thinking it was play time. He had no bruises, no scars, no sign of abuse whatsoever. The social worker took David from my moms arms, and he started to cry, which quickly turned into screaming in despair, as she walked out of the house and headed to the minivan. David was kicking and screaming, to the point the social worker couldn’t get him buckled in the car seat and she asked for my mother’s assistance. My mom was forced to go and buckle David in, all the while he screamed and cried for her help. In less than 5 minutes, they were off taking my 20-month old son to who knows where.

She immediately called Ricardo, my husband, who had arrived from his business trip and went straight from the airport to the hospital to be with me and Lucas.  Ricardo is telling me this story in tears, as he desperately tried to convince the social worker, and law enforcement to not take David. I was in tears, and feeling incredibly betrayed. Had I known their intent was to seize my son, I never would have said anything. They told me they were there to help, and they just wanted to make sure my son was alright. Then they show up at 2 o’clock in the morning, to take my son away? This can’t be legal, I remember thinking. There must be some misunderstanding. At this point, we still didn’t know where David was. The social worker wasn’t returning our calls. All we could do was pray, and cry, and ask God to give us peace. After a few minutes of “letting it all out”, my husband and I had to put on our thinking caps. We were on our phones immediately contacting lawyers, and after about 10 attempts we found one who specialized in Juvenile Court ie Family Law. I spoke with him over the phone that Friday morning, and he told me he knew where my son was, that he’d dealt with the County before and knew exactly what was going on. He told me to meet him at his office at noon. In the meantime, he told me to contact as many people as I could to write Character Letters for me. I still couldn’t wrap my brain about what the heck was going on. I mean really, WHAT WAS GOING ON?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6

The post What Happened – Part II appeared first on Rachel Bruno.

Be still, and know that I am God. -Psalm 46:10

Today, July 8th, marks the three year anniversary of when my world was completely turned upside down. It is currently around 9:00PM as I write this, and I can picture exactly where I was on this day at this time.

It was a Wednesday night. I was at the hospital, after having brought my son Lucas to the ER about 10 hours before. My baby, then 7 weeks old, lay in the PICU in a medically induced coma having had emergency brain surgery due to a cranial fracture, and an intracerebral blood hemorrhage. I just sat there in complete shock at what had happened since 4AM that fateful morning. I was startled by a knock on the glass door, I looked up and it was a man in uniform accompanied by a lady with a clipboard. They asked if they could come in and talk about what happened. Little did I know at the time, this was the beginning of the end.

I told them Lucas was in the care of his nanny when I was awakened at around 4AM by a jarring scream, which then proceeded to stop. This pattern of screaming and stopping kept reoccurring, so I got up and went to his room. The door was partially ajar, and I stood in the doorway where I could see the nanny had him swaddled in the crib trying to soothe him by “shushing.” He was not settling down, so she picked him up and placed him on her shoulder to burp him. The screaming subsided, but he was obviously very uncomfortable. I finally walked in to the room, and asked the nanny if something happened. She calmly turned around to face me and said she just fed him, so he must have be gassy. I remembered those first months with David, my oldest, and how he would scream bloody murder when he was colicky after a midnight feeding . I figured I must just give birth to gassy babies! By this time it was close to the nanny’s shift being over, and Lucas was obviously not settling down. I told her to go home early, and I would take Lucas. I unswaddled him, and gave him “skin to skin” hoping that would soothe him. It seemed to work. I went back to my room, with my baby in tow, and tried to catch the last few zzz’s before David would wake up. My husband was away on a business trip. He was usually the one to do the early morning feedings, since I needed my sleep due to my medical condition.  I’ve had seizures for my entire adult life. After years of trial and error, I finally found a medication that controlled them. However, one thing would almost always trigger them: Lack of, or interrupted sleep. That is why we had a nighttime nanny. They asked me if I had other children. I told them I did, my oldest son David who was 20-months old at the time.

The entire time I am talking, it never crossed my mind, that I was being interrogated. It was very obvious to me what had happened to my son. The nanny must have dropped him, and she simply didn’t tell me. They kept asking me what I thought had happened, and I couldn’t tell them. I just kept repeating he was with the nanny the entire night, I heard the scream at 4AM, I have no idea what happened prior to that. The officer looked at me and told me that the type of trauma my son endured was equal to being shot in the head by a bullet, and that it was a criminal offense. I assumed he was telling me this information to give me a “heads up” I would no longer be employing this nanny. I nodded, and continued to comply with our talk giving him and the lady with the clipboard (who was a Senior Social Worker) all the information I could think of. Keep in mind I had been up since 4AM that morning, and that this was now passed midnight. I was exhausted but I cooperated thinking they would for certain go after this nanny. The social worker asked if they could go take a look at my older son, to make sure he was okay. Again, I complied. He was at my mother’s house whom we visited regularly. I told them he would be asleep by now, and the social worker assured me they would not wake him up. Soon after, they gathered their notes, and headed to the hallway where two female detectives were waiting outside to “talk” to me as well. They were very friendly, giving me their condolences after seeing the state my baby boy was in. They politely asked if I wouldn’t mind talking in another room. As exhausted as I was, I did what they asked, and proceeded to tell the same story I had told the officer and the social worker. When they finished “talking” to me, it was close to 2AM and I told them I couldn’t process anything anymore. I had to go to sleep. They concurred, and I went to bed.

The news I would wake up to the next day… only God could have kept me still.

The post What Happened – Part I appeared first on Rachel Bruno.